Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

How can a hacker damage me, realistically?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I actually pay taxes

What seemingly minor decision or moment in your past ended up having a massive impact on your entire life trajectory?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

How did you know you weren't the narc?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I see through liars

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Stunning 'Solar Curtains' Phenomenon Revealed on The Sun in New Images - ScienceAlert

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Netflix’s Buzzy New Doc About an Infamous Tragedy Shows It’s Just the Beginning - Slate Magazine

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

How old is planet Earth? Is it 4.5 billion years old or 6,000 years old?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why are white men so obsessed with Asian women? I'm friends with people from all different backgrounds but I never see my other non-white male friends obsess over or talk about Asian women like I've seen the white ones do.

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

For an unpublished short story writer, what magazines or online publications offer the best chance of being recognized?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I can count

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What is the best way to get my wife to become a hotwife?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What is the reasoning behind conspiracy theorists claiming that there were multiple shooters involved in the JFK assassination?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Do opposites attract? How often do you see weird couples like a guy/girl dating someone who is boring with no sense of humor ?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy bullshit

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can read

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet